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<< Titans coach derides Kiffin's idea behind lawsuit
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -Coach Jeff Fisher has one word to describe the theory that the Titans sued Southern California because the NFL team is in the same state as Lane Kiffin's last employer.Absurd.The Titans accuse USC and Kiffin of breaching the c

<< Steelers ink rookie LB Worilds, make Adams agreement official
Pittsburgh, PA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Pittsburgh Steelers signed rookie linebacker Jason Worilds on Friday, and also announced they have agreed to terms on a two-year contract with veteran offensive tackle Flozell Adams. Worilds,

<< Jets sign Ryan, Tannenbaum to extensions
Florham Park, NJ (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The New York Jets announced Friday they have signed head coach Rex Ryan and general manager Mike Tannenbaum to contract extensions that will keep them with the club through the 2014 season. Tann

<< Cardinals sign LB Washington
Tempe, AZ (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Arizona Cardinals have signed linebacker Daryl Washington to a four-year contract, the team announced Friday. Financial terms of the deal were not released. Washington was Arizona's second-round pick, 47

Rangers get Guzman from Nationals >>
Washington, DC (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Washington Nationals have dealt infielder Cristian Guzman to the Texas Rangers for prospects. A story on the Nationals' official website cited Guzman's agent in reporting the move, which was c

Canadiens sign D Henry >>
Montreal, QC (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Montreal Canadiens signed defenseman Alex Henry to a two-year, two-way contract on Friday. Financial terms of the deal were not disclosed. Henry did not appear in the NHL last season, but over 68 games

Veloso seals move to Genoa >>
Genoa, Italy (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Genoa has agreed to a deal that will bring them midfielder Miguel Veloso from Sporting Lisbon, it was confirmed by the Portuguese club on Friday. The 24-year-old Veloso has been linked with a number o

Mets trade Jacobs to Blue Jays >>
Flushing, NY (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The New York Mets have traded first baseman Mike Jacobs to the Toronto Blue Jays for a player to be named later. Jacobs signed with the Mets this offseason, but played in only seven games in April before

FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).

Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.

Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).

Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.

Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.

The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.

What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.

Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.

But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.

In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.